Routine

 

If you ask my mum, boyfriend, or anyone close to me, they will tell you that i am strict on routine. I know Nyla, and i know what will happen if routine is broken too much. 

I am a member of a few first time mum groups on facebook, and i see how early on we get pressured into having a routine and finding one. For us, routine didn't happen unitl 4 months old. 

Why is routine important?

For me, i found that once we had a routine established, life just got easier. It was hard sometimes balancing a new baby, new life, and figuring out what she needed. As soon as we got a routine, i feel like i understood her needs better, got more rest, and had a happier baby.

When did routine begin?

Around 4 months old, after her stay in hospital, and when home life changed so much. I feel like at this time we were adjusting to it just being the two of us, and were becoming closer than ever because we needed each other. 

What did the routine look like?

Every night, instead of leaving her downstairs with me until i went up, we both went upstairs. From 6pm, there was no tv time and instead 'wind down time'. Our routine looked like this:

- 6pm: upstairs bath time 

-6:30pm: Storytime followed by milk

-7pm: bedtime 

How did you start a routine?

The first thing to work out for me, was her wake windows. I use an app called glow, where i have always tracked Nylas food and naps. This then creates a pattern showing you next estimated food time, and how long she has been awake. This really helped me figure out her needs. I could see if she was being hard work, if she had been awake too long or was hungry. Using this, i knew when was too long for her to be awake etc. From this i could also see what bedtime worked for her in making sure she got a good sleep and didnt wake too early. We trialled an 8pm bedtime, which resulted in a 5am wakeup. At first 6pm seemed to be the time she was ready to sleep, but this gradually became 7pm, which works really well for her. 

The thing with establishing routine, is to be consistent. The same thing, the same time, everyday. 

How has this changed since she has grown?

It really hasn't changed at all. The only minor difference being that on non bath nights, we go upstairs at 6:30pm, or have 6pm a little playtime in her bedroom before coming into my room to do everything else. She may also watch a little bit of a film in bed after her milk and story, but she is still asleep by 7pm every night. 

What does a day look like for us?

• 6am wake up
• 7am breakfast
• 9am nap time for 2 hours 
• 11am snack 
• 12:30pm lunchtime
• 3pm snacktime
• 5pm dinner time
• 6pm wind down time 
• 7pm bedtime 

She has slept through since around 8 months. 

What about when she stays out?

So Nyla spends one night a week at her dads house. My number one rule when she is there, is that he sticks to her routine as close as possible. He uses the same app, so i can see what time she has eaten and what time she has gone to sleep etc, and thankfully, he does keep bedtime to the same time. I know i probably did his head in about this, but i don't want to confuse her. 

What happens when routine is broken?

There has been sometimes, when routine has been impossible to keep. For example we took her to a lightshow in November, which started at 5pm. This meant she had dinner at 4pm, and wasn't home until 8pm. She went to bed fine that night, and her dad tried to hit me with the "i told you so". However the next night, she thought she could stay up late and it was a fight to get her asleep before 9pm. 

Nights when her dad stays over, she knows he is here, she doesn't want to go to sleep. Again she can be up past 9pm and it can take 2-3 nights to get her back to 7pm bedtimes. 

Naps are also the same. When she is at her dads, she has a nap around 2pm. The same if she goes to my mums for the day. At home, she has a nap at 9am (her choice i dont force naps) and no naps are allowed after 3pm.  This morning nap, she wakes up happy and goes to bed easier. If she has an afternoon nap at home, all hell breaks loose and i end up counting down to bedtime (which wont be until 9pm). 

I don't make plans until after 12pm, to make sure she gets this morning nap in, and i always make sure that i am home by 4pm to prepare her dinner and make sure it's ready at 5pm. 

Some people think that i am really strict on it, but between 3pm-5pm is when Nyla can be unpredictable. She can get tired, hangry, and hard work. I accepted the fact that routine can not always be set in stone, but i like to keep it as close as i can. 

Staying out on holidays, and development leaps, can affect it, sometimes things are just out of control and can not be helped. Keeping it as close to routine as possible helps keep situations calm and not create any bad habits.